The word trauma is used often, sometimes loosely, sometimes with hesitation. For some, it refers to a single, overwhelming event. For others, it describes something quieter and harder to name, a pattern of experiences that slowly shaped how they see themselves and the world.
At Jadestone Counselling, we meet people across that full spectrum of trauma and lived experiences. Some arrive knowing they have experienced trauma. Others come in talking about anxiety, relationship struggles, burnout, or a persistent sense of not feeling safe, and only later begin to understand how earlier experiences may be influencing their present. Trauma is not defined solely by what happened. It is defined by what happened inside you as a result.
In simple terms, trauma occurs when an experience or series of experiences overwhelm your nervous system’s ability to cope. It can be a single incident, such as an accident, assault, or sudden loss. It can also be repeated experiences, like ongoing criticism, neglect, emotional invalidation, or living in an unpredictable environment.
Two people can go through the same event and respond differently. That does not mean one is “stronger” than the other. Trauma is deeply personal. It is shaped by age, support systems, attachment history, cultural context, and whether there was anyone present who helped the experience feel containable.
When trauma is not processed, the nervous system can remain on alert long after the danger has passed. The body remembers. The mind adapts. Patterns develop that once made sense for survival, even if they no longer serve you.
Childhood trauma does not always look dramatic from the outside. It can include physical or sexual abuse, but it also includes emotional neglect, chronic criticism, parentification, exposure to addiction, or growing up in an environment where love felt conditional.
Children depend on caregivers not only for food and shelter, but for emotional regulation. When caregivers are inconsistent, frightening, unavailable, or overwhelmed themselves, a child’s nervous system may adapt in ways that persist into adulthood.
You might notice this as:
These responses are not character flaws. They are adaptations. At one point, they likely helped you survive or maintain connection. Over time, though, they can limit intimacy, confidence, and emotional freedom.
Understanding childhood trauma is often the beginning of self-compassion. Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” the question becomes, “What happened to me?”
Betrayal trauma occurs when someone you depend on for safety or stability violates your trust. This may involve infidelity, deception, emotional manipulation, financial secrecy, or other relational ruptures.
The pain of betrayal is not only about the event itself. It strikes at your sense of reality. Many people describe feeling disoriented, doubting their instincts, replaying conversations, or questioning their own perceptions.
Common responses include:
In relationships, betrayal trauma can deeply affect attachment. You may long for closeness while simultaneously fearing it. You may want reassurance yet struggle to believe it.
Healing from betrayal trauma requires more than simply “moving on.” It involves restoring a sense of internal safety and rebuilding trust, whether within the relationship or within yourself.
Trauma responses are often misunderstood. They can look like anxiety, depression, irritability, perfectionism, people-pleasing, or emotional shutdown. Beneath these patterns, the nervous system is trying to protect you.
Some common responses include:
Hyperarousal. Feeling constantly on edge, easily startled, restless, or unable to relax.
Hypoarousal. Feeling numb, disconnected, fatigued, or emotionally flat.
Intrusive experiences. Flashbacks, distressing memories, or sudden emotional flooding.
Avoidance. Steering clear of people, conversations, or situations that might trigger painful memories.
These responses are not signs that you are broken. They are signs that your system learned to anticipate danger. The goal of therapy is not to eliminate your protective instincts. It is to help your body and mind recognize when protection is no longer required.
Trauma-informed therapy begins with one central principle: safety.
Before exploring painful memories, therapy focuses on creating emotional steadiness and trust. This may involve learning grounding strategies, developing awareness of nervous system states, and building tools for regulation.
Healing does not mean reliving every detail. In fact, moving too quickly can reinforce distress. A trauma-informed approach respects pacing. It honours your capacity. It recognizes that you are more than what happened to you.
Depending on your needs, therapy may include:
Over time, clients often notice subtle but meaningful shifts. They pause before reacting. They feel less consumed by intrusive thoughts. They express needs more clearly. They begin to trust their internal signals.
Healing is rarely linear. There are moments of progress and moments of vulnerability. What changes is your relationship to those moments. Instead of feeling overtaken, you feel supported and resourced.
Healing from trauma does not erase the past. It integrates it.
You may still remember what happened, but it no longer defines your identity or dictates your reactions. Your body feels calmer. Your thoughts feel less catastrophic. Relationships feel less threatening and more grounded.
For some, healing means being able to set boundaries without overwhelming guilt. For others, it means sleeping through the night. Sometimes it means rediscovering joy, creativity, or desire that once felt out of reach.
One of the most powerful aspects of trauma work is reclaiming agency. Trauma often leaves people feeling powerless. Therapy gently restores choice. You learn that you can respond differently. You can tolerate discomfort without shutting down. You can build relationships rooted in mutual respect rather than fear.
There is a persistent myth that trauma only counts if it was extreme. This belief keeps many people silent. They minimize their experiences, compare themselves to others, and conclude they should simply cope better. Pain does not need to compete to be valid.
If your nervous system learned to brace, to withdraw, to overperform, or to disappear in order to survive, that matters. If certain memories still feel charged, that matters. If relationships feel harder than they should, that matters. Healing begins with permission. Permission to acknowledge impact. Permission to move at your own pace. Permission to seek support.
At Jadestone Counselling, trauma-informed therapy is grounded in compassion, steadiness, and respect for your story. Whether you are navigating childhood trauma, betrayal trauma, or lingering effects of experiences you struggle to name, you do not have to do that work alone.
If this resonates with you, consider taking the next step. Reaching out can feel vulnerable, especially if trust has been shaken before. We understand that.
You deserve support that honours both your strength and your pain.
To book an appointment, visit our website or connect with our team. We are here to walk alongside you as healing unfolds.